In the beginning

-- Tomorrow doesn't exist. Only today.

-- Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

-- Today is the greatest.

Thus begins my year of doing. Of exploring. Of trying and learning new things and reconnecting with some old hobbies. See, my 30th birthday is next week, and I feel like I'm finally coming out from under this cloud that's been following me around. For months I've been in a funk -- out of it at work, antisocial, lazy and just generally apathetic. Maybe it's midlife crisis, a little early. Maybe it's the lousy weather we've had this year. Maybe it's something else entirely, but I feel more positive than I have in a long while and I'm celebrating that and my birthday with a year long challenge: do what you haven't done before.

The driving question for me is this: what do I want my life to look like a year from now? A lot won't be changing. I love my husband and the life we've built for each other. I'm happy with my job, although I think I could be doing more with it. What will be changing? My health needs to be a bigger priority. I want to have more fun with my friends rather than crashing on the couch. I want to learn more and be a better conversationalist. I want to cook more and learn how to sharpen my knives. I want to refine my sense of style and finish those lingering house projects. Don't get me wrong, this isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming a better, more active me.

I'm still figuring out how to tackle all this, and what specific things I want to go after. But my goal is to have monthly themes, weekly challenges -- I've already got the first month planned around fitness. In a nutshell: Watch calories, exercise daily. As that becomes more routine, I'll incorporate some other health ideas -- like womanning up and taking my vitamin every day (yeah, some of this stuff may seem mind-numbingly simple, but not for me!). I want to wear a skirt everyday, rather than watching them all become moth food in my closet.

Most of all I want to be accountable to myself and others again. I became so apathetic I convinced myself it didn't even matter what I think of myself. And I want to be confident in myself -- strengths, talents, flaws, facets and all.